


The Downfall

by Kingaj1631



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Nihilism, Season 2, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingaj1631/pseuds/Kingaj1631
Summary: Darian is described to be " An outsider. Sensitive. Vulnerable. Mischievous. Could struggle with addiction. Definitely not the cool kid at school but one of the more interesting kids." How would he fit into the world of Euphoria? Who does he know? WHAT does he know? This is another possible outcome of the Winter Formal, it will be dark, it will be painful. The decisions that are made by each and every character will please some and displease others. This is meant to be a story to tide over the fact that season 2 is a very long time away. Rue's addiction will take her down a dark path, will she be able to overcome her urges? Where is Jules? Is she living a happy life in "The City"? Will Nate ever learn the error of his ways? Will anyone for that matter.
Relationships: Cassie Howard/Chris Mckay, Nate Jacobs/Maddy Perez, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard
Kudos: 9





	1. Darian: Night 0

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be a much longer one chapter wise, there will not be a definitive number but i will try my best to stay consistent. Please let me know what you think as it helps me continue this love for writing that i have. The first chapter is meant to cover the Winter Formal, Darian's experience in it, eventually we will learn about Rue's fate but for now... another's story begins.

CHAPTER 1:  
DARIAN  
Darian was not sure what to make of his night, I mean where do you begin? It was the night of formal, the formal his so-called friends forced him to attend; They knew he hated dances. The funny part was that this was the only dance he had been to; he just had some preordained thought that all dances sucked and that he would hate them. He was partially right, he hated the dance, but it didn't suck… meaning that some obvious thought had been put into the dance, the music wasn’t that bad, it sure as shit was entertaining. Entertaining was an unusual word for this instance, it wasn’t the music or the event itself that Darian found entertaining, it was the people. He had attended East Highland for all three years of high school, stayed to himself other than his close-knit group of friends; He made it his goal to avoid new people, too much trouble trying get to know somebody you can’t stand. It was a pretty nihilist viewpoint, viewing new human interaction as annoying, but it was true; Once you establish your group of friends, that you truly trust, why bother adding to it? This rambling was incessant, Darian always found it difficult to focus on class, much less his own thoughts, his parents preemptively diagnosed him with ADD when he was 5 and he's gone with that assumption to present day. Going back to his point… no this was his sub-point: The people were entertaining the hell out of Darian.

His friend Christopher, who everybody knew as McKay, was a freshmen in college yet he seemed to know more about the happenings of high school and shit like that than Darian could ever hope to. Of course Darian was then told second-hand information about most of the denizens of East Highlands drama, Nate Jacobs to start was quite the story. A psychopath with charisma and wit as sharp as a fucking blade; Nate managed to reach senior year without killing anybody, but there was still a whole semester yet so anything could happen. Darian had actually spoken to Nate a few times, being that they were on the same football team, Darian played football, he wasn’t the best, but he also wasn’t the worst, so he managed to survive. Watching Nate’s towering performance, trying to get back at his Ex: Maddy Perez was just the beginning of the entertainment. Darian’s selected spot for the formal was close enough that he could see where all the action would happen but not close enough where he could be noticed as watching. McKay had told him enough, Maddy cheated on Nate, Nate hurt Maddy, it was toxic relationships 101, they even got back together and broke up again more times that anyone could count! Tonight proved no different, the two spent the whole night trying to one up each other; To Darian it was funny as hell. Seeing these two superficial teenagers try to make the other jealous, acting like it was the most important fucking thing in their life, it was sadly hilarious!

Ok yea Darian was definitely a nihilist but why the fuck shouldn’t he be? At any moment somebody could just randomly drop dead, there could be no reason, they just die. Everybody would memorialize them and praise the crowd about how good of a person Body #23 was; When the reality was that the never knew Body #23, whose name was really John, they just wanted their 5 seconds of fame. That’s what everybody sought, fame… attention was the fountain of youth, anyone who attained it lived forever young… or at least they felt like it. In this moment, watching Nate Jacobs and Maddy Perez compete with one another, it wasn’t to get back with one another, it was for attention. Those two fed off attention, Nate with Football and Maddy with social media, these were only the surface level origins of their problems however Darian had a pretty good idea who the two were. Darian considered himself a social genius, he avoided all confrontation by avoiding people in general, those he befriended had to be the tightest of the tight. McKay wasn’t truly a friend, more like an acquaintance but the two still spoke often; Darian just couldn’t consider him a friend due to the fact that their interests did not line up. By saying this he meant that McKay’s big focus was sports, which he determined was unlikely to even happen so he was shit out of luck, and Darian didn’t need anymore stress in his life, so he avoided trying to be the life coach friends tend to expect. So acquaintances they stayed, it was easier.

Darian wished that just idly watching Maddy and Nate compete was the end of his night, but it just started. After getting bored Darian, decided to move on to other current events. He glanced over at the table that Cassie sat at out of pure curiosity. She, along with her sister, Maddy, and 3 other girls he was unaware of were all talking: Pretty boring shit. At least it WAS boring until one of the girls, a taller, awkward looking girl went out to the dance floor with a much paler one. More detail would really help here but truly these two were a complete mystery to Darian. The two were equal in height yet very different in attitudes, just watching the two dance one could see the light skinned girl was far more awkward than the white one with black streaks down her hair. Darian couldn’t help but stare at the two, they were obviously each other’s dates judging by the way they acted but he still couldn’t help himself. The pale, blonde gave off such an aura, like she couldn’t give a fuck about anything, she practically fed off the attention that was being directed her way. The other one, the shyer of the two, tried to copy her energy, she wanted to be like Girl A (this is the only way he could separate the two so Girl A was the tall blonde and Girl B was the tall, brown haired girl). Getting to the point, Girl B was dancing with Girl A until something peculiar happened, Nate lost the dance off to Maddy. Nate stormed off like a toddler, a very tall toddler; Girl B seemed to see this almost immediately and followed him outside the gym. This was an interesting development, so of course Darian stalked behind the two, he was nosey what could he say.

The large crowd of people made it really difficult to properly tail anybody but with several minutes to spare, Darian managed to push his way through. Of course by the time he managed to get outside, the conversation was over, he actually bumped right into Nate “Hey is everything good man?” Darian asked, really trying to pry. Nate shrugged this off “ Why wouldn’t it be? What are you doing out here anyways? _Shit_ Darian thought to himself “Just getting some air its fucking hot in there”. Darian tried his best to play this off, Nate was a noticeably alert guy for a jock “Yea, it does, I just needed to handle something, all’s good” Nate laughs this off, both know they’re hiding something but for the sake of public safety Darian decided not to pry any further. “Alright, as long as it doesn’t affect your performance on the field champ! You’re only getting older” A joke would save Darian, at least he hoped, Nate laughs harder this time, putting on his signature grin “Yea well maybe if you could catch the ball when I throw it, we wouldn’t have almost lost!” The two both laugh uneasily, both trying to keep appearances up. Before the conversation can go any further the song changes to a much slower one, time for the slow dances. “Hey, I gotta go, see you at the party next week?” Nate asks sincerely “Definitely, I’ll be there, have a good night” the two dab each other up and part ways. Truth be told, Darian didn’t really dislike Nate, he knew he was fucking psychotic but that’s what made him interesting. Darian liked to witness a train wreck, and Nate was bound for the biggest one to ever see. Nate was a fascinating guy, plus he was a good ass quarterback on the field so having a reliable teammate was always a plus.

Although the conversation was over, Darian could tell it upset Girl B a great deal, Nate had a way with women he’ll give him that. Darian wanted to go over to her and make sure she was ok, but he didn’t know her, if some random guy just went up to a girl in this day in age… not a good idea. He simply analyzed her; he had a way of learning who a person was when he just watched; Was it creepy? Probably but it wasn’t meant to be. She sat there solemnly, stifling back tears _Jesus Christ what the fuck did Nate say to this poor girl?_ Darian could tell Nate knew SOMETHING about her that was very damaging. He actually was about to walk up to her and check on her but before he could his phone went off; it was his dad. Now a little background information that needs to be established, Darian’s dad wasn’t all there, Well, he was but he was bipolar. His dad always meant well but his mind didn’t always cooperate, so he had fits of rage mixed with shades of happiness. Maybe this contributed to Darian’s distrust of people, his dad’s unpredictability only made Darian paranoid. The other thing to know about Darian’s dad was that he was super controlling, like he had to be home by 9 o clock every night, even in cases of a dance. It was currently 9:10, Darian must’ve lost track of time because it felt like 8 but then again it was dark as hell out so that should’ve been a hint. The text was a simple **Where are you?** But Darian knew there would be hell when he got home. He scavenges an excuse **Sorry my friends got drunk, so I had to get them home, I’m on my way.** It wasn’t technically a lie, his friends were drunk off their ass, but there was no way they were wasting his gas to get home, that was their problem. The lack of response was reassuring, it meant his dad bought the lie, so of course Darian now had to get home as soon as possible

Driving home, Darian quickly sent some texts to the friends he was ditching, wishing them luck on getting home. They’d see it by morning, wherever the hell they ended up. It was exactly 9:17 when Darian arrived home, he opened the door and took a deep breath, expecting a massive argument. Except this wasn’t the case, his dad was calmly sitting in his recliner watching the news, beer in hand. “Hey sorry I didn’t watch my time, the school parking lot is what ate up a lot of my time” Darian says, also not lying. “That’s ok Darian, it was your first dance I expected you to be a little late, its all good” His dad calmly responds. His dad was normally furious if Darian was even 2 minutes late so this was a little unexpected, but welcome. “Alright well I gotta get some work done on the computer then hit the hay, so goodnight dad” His father smiled and said, “goodnight son, don’t stay up too late, we've got a busy morning tomorrow”. With that Darian walked to his room and sat down on his computer chair, logging on to his computer. Darian was a writer, he liked to write about practically anything, but stories were his focus, stories about his life and other’s. Fiction was… well fiction, it didn’t exist, which made it seemingly pointless to Darian. Writing about his fucked-up life, or somebody else’s for that matter was real, it happened, so therefore it had meaning. _I know you don’t know too much about me, but believe me I’ll get to it eventually, just give me time and you’ll know everything there is to know._  
2 hours pass and 4 thousand words later, it was a worthwhile night. Darian, feeling satisfied, lays down on his bed and tries to go to sleep. It takes a little but eventually he’s out, awaiting the busy morning that was to follow.

THE NEXT DAY  
Rue wakes up with possibly the worst headache of her life, she didn’t really sleep, it was more of a coma. The night before was quite possibly the worst day of her life, not much could be remembered due to the copious amount of drugs she took, yes she relapsed. Could you blame her? Oh that’s right you don’t know what happened last night: Jules fucking left. She left her on a fucking train to who knows where, the city? What fucking city? Do you know how many cities there are? Rue was suffering what people a call a mental breakdown, at least that’s what it felt like. The number of questions that were circling through her mind scared her, why did she leave? Why would she ever leave? Was it because of Rue? The real question now was: How was Rue going to live without Jules? The answer was simple… she wasn’t.


	2. Rue: Night 0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before we move forward, we must explain the past. Rue's terrible night during the Formal is explored

CHAPTER 2:

RUE

The only reality Rue could accept was being with Jules, nothing mattered after that; It didn’t matter how they did, but for Rue to survive she needed Jules. Rue couldn’t exist without knowing she was under the loving embrace of the fucking angel known as Jules. It should’ve been that way forever, the two could live on in an apartment in New York someday, they might be seeing other people but at the end of the day, sleep in the same bed. This was the deal the two of them made when they were together _It’s hard to use past tense here, but I think it’s clear that this relationship is over… what? Thought I wasn’t talking to you anymore? You’re stuck here, listening to me_. It’s impossible to conceive this, that Rue’s one and only love is gone, she just leaves to go see this new girl. _Was I not good enough? Was Anna that fucking great that she had to leave me?_ Of course when Jules left, rue went to her other drug of choice… actual drugs. Walking home alone in the dark at who the fuck knows when was bad enough, trying to stand up on two feet after having the love of your life ditch you? _That was what_ _probably led to me relapsing again; Reliving the worst moment of my life over and over again really didn’t help the situation._

NIGHT OF THE FORMAL

Rue got home that night alone, nobody was in the house; Gia was still at the Formal probably enjoying herself and her mother… her mother was with Jules’ dad last she knew. None of this mattered, nothing mattered now, the last six months of Rue’s life have been the happiest she’s ever experienced. In a single night that was taken away, her happiness was squandered; the saddest part about this was that she was warned so many fucking times by Ali. The man was blunt as hell, she thought he was being a dick, but it was the truth, Jules moved on, that was made explicitly clear. Now her sobriety was under threat, no it was going to be gone in about 5 minutes. She didn’t care anymore, why should she? Who the fuck ever gave a shit about Rue? Even Jules lied to her, she told her “I hate everybody else in the world but you”, that was a fucking lie. If that had any ounce of truth she wouldn’t have left so easily, like it was a normal fucking thing to do. Yes, Rue was angry, she had every right to be just as much as she had every right to be crying right now. Although she would never understand, maybe Rue’s mom could help, at least hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok, sweet lies comforting the distraught daughter. That’s all she needed, was to live a lie for the rest of her life, to pretend that Jules was just on vacation or dead; Dead would be better than abandoning her. It was a cruel fucking thing to think but it was true, any other reality would be better than this one.

It took everything in Rue’s will to walk to her room, it felt like the entire fucking planet had pushed its impossible weight on her. Every step was followed by a memory, of her childhood; She saw her father, happier times when her family was whole, when she wasn’t screaming at or BEING screamed at by her mom. When Gia wasn’t forced to grow up for the sake of her older sister, everything was perfect back then. Then he had to fucking die, whatever higher power that existed decided to kill her dad, her favorite person in the entire fucking world. It’s like it was god’s plan to kill her dad just so she would become emotionally unstable to the point that she resorted to drug use; Drug use that led to the shitstorm she’s in now. If there really is a god… he’s a dick, what’s he going to do to her that hasn’t already been done?

She then saw her mother, whom she thought she hated but she really didn’t; No child really hates their mother. How could they? They spend 9 months growing inside of them, being nurtured and cared for; Then you spend the next 18 or so years being raised and taught wrong from right by this same person. Sure you might have arguments, its only human, but at the end of the day, your mom is always going to be there for you. Rue really wishes her mom was here right now, she’d would help her at least calm down, hell at this point if Nate Jacobs himself kicked down the door and said everything was going to be ok she would probably believe him; Literally anybody would’ve at least lowered her blood pressure from where it was now. It was a different type of high, being heartbroken, where a drug would dull your senses and make you feel what you truly wanted to feel, this was the opposite. Rue felt everything, every emotion, every fiber in her body was overloaded with feeling. She felt like she was going to fucking explode, the typical sob story you see on telenovelas had nothing on this, it was like all the air had been taken out of her lungs, then forcefully pushed back in with a hundred pounds of force. She couldn’t breathe, but then she could, her body was just as conflicted as her mind, everything was being whirl winded around. She took another step forward and almost collapsed from the tears, these hot lead tears pouring down her face only served as a reminder, she grew angrier every time she could feel one going down.

Gia was the last one in her family to be seen in her little fucked up collage of memories, Rue’s next decision would break Gia and she wasn’t sure if it could be fixed. After her overdose, Rue tried to comfort Gia as best she could, she didn’t want her to think things were different because of her fuck up. Except things were different, she had to go to a rehab facility where she was isolated from her sister and mother so she could better herself; Something that obviously didn’t come to fruition. Getting out of rehab, Rue had absolutely no plan to stay sober, you already know what happens, no point in dwelling. The other Bennett daughter, was an impressionable 14-year-old girl, who hung out with boys who didn’t give a shit about her; The only thing they cared about was getting high, so in order to garner their attention, Gia started smoking. Nothing broke Rue’s heart more than when she found Gia smoking pot with Roy (or was it Troy? It didn’t really matter), to see that same dull look she saw in the mirror way too many times. It took everything in her power to not cry there, to try and be the badass sister she needed to be to get her out of there. Rue hoped that Gia wouldn’t become her, to be the druggy that everyone just kind of deals with, knowing full well she would get nowhere in life.

She knew that what she would do next would shape everyone around her, Gia would never trust anybody again; How could she? She still thinks Rue’s sober. If Rue goes through with this, Gia will be devastated, hell she might go down the same path, believing it to be the only way to cope. Her mother would never leave her alone in a room again, Rue couldn’t blame her; Drug tests would become as routine as brushing your teeth; And the shittiest part, Rue would always test negative. She would test negative because she’d go back to Lexi, or Cassie or anyone willing to help her in her self-destructive path. Except they might not, Lexi already guilted her about it last time so the odds of getting her urine was unlikely; Lexi would probably never help Rue with anything ever again frankly. Rue would find a way, one way or another she would pass every drug test, lying right to her mom’s desperate face. The drug tests would be more of an assurance, they both would know it was a lie, but what could be done that hasn’t already? The only person who could fix this was Rue, and she was in no shape to ever want to improve herself.

Finally reaching the door to her room, Rue regretfully walks inside, dreading every thought that fills her fucked up head. Tearing off the outfit Jules picked out for her, Rue got into something she would always be comfortable in, her father’s hoodie. That piece of fabric was the only living memory Rue would ever have of her father, but it was also a reminder of her addiction, of the pain she caused. Rue wanted to believe that she had suffered the most out of everybody, doesn’t everyone? Everybody subconsciously wants to think they’re the main character, that all of their problems are the worst that anyone could ever experience, was it selfish? Probably, but nothing will ever stop it. Sitting there alone in her room, Rue wanted a way out, she wanted to forget everything she has just experienced, she didn’t know if she wanted to remember anything. Any good memory would now be compared to her bad ones, being dampened and forgotten. The only way Rue could escape was to do the absolute worst thing, relapse. She didn’t really care anymore, why should she? Nobody really cared about her, her family was obligated to because of their blood, she was just a fuckin burden. She still had some left, stashed away in a drawer out of sight, she didn’t know why she kept it… maybe as a trophy: To say I survived? Well so much for that because now she’s digging through and finding the stashed poison. There was still plenty left, damn near enough to kill somebody, maybe that’s what she wanted: To die.

Rue knew that whatever she did next would result in her death, either physically or mentally. She would never be the same after this, this relapse would be her last, she would never recover. How could she have ever stood a chance? Why did she even bother? She lined it all up, and right before she bent down to inhale the toxins, she saw her dad. Or at least what looked like her dad, right at her doorway, smiling. He didn’t have to say anything, Rue understood that he was accepting her, ready to welcome her to the other side; To be there for her. The look he gave her was devastating, he knew she was making a mistake but it’s not like a ghost or whatever the fuck he was could stop her, he just wanted to make her comfortable. Looking into her dead eyes and putting on a smile was such a dad thing to do… no it was something only HER dad could do. He walks over to her, puts his hand on her cheek to brush off the still hot tear, and kisses where it was. It all felt so real, she must’ve really been freaking out here. There was no more energy left for tears, all she could do was sit there and sulk, preparing herself for what would come next. She looked down and snorted the lines she had made for herself, accepting whatever would come next, when she looked up he was gone; Knowing it was too late to save her. With a final look around her room, Rue lays back, realizing she doesn’t have too much time left. Her final thoughts are on her family, whom she knows really does care about her, what she had thought before was just stupid, of course they cared about her. She wished them all luck, hoping her sister would live a better life, hoping her mother would move on someday. Her memory became hazy and so did her vision, the welcome embrace of euphoria came to her mind, or rather the drugs started to influence her thoughts. She couldn’t help but smile, remembering the better times, remembering the beauty that was Jules. She could see her glow, her warming smile, everything about Jules was angelic; Rue just smiled, she couldn’t help but smile as she came closer and closer to the inevitable. With a final breath, Rue puts on her best smile and closes her eyes… Rue is no longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that these sides have been explored, maybe now the future will entail

**Author's Note:**

> I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter, it is reasonably shorter however that is my intent so i can spit out more consistent chapters. Again i hope to tide over the fact that we have a long while before a true season 2 is released and i hope i can replicate atleast some of the magic that this show presents.


End file.
